You know when you have it and you know when you don’t have it! It’s a feeling of trusting yourself that you have what it takes to be, to do or to have something. It is trusting yourself to be real or funny or healthy. It is trusting yourself to do the right thing. It is trusting that you have the ability to take even a small risk. You know confidence when you see it in others, because it is very appealing.

Confidence is inside.

You trust that you have the power and ability you need to handle what life throws your way. You have the power and ability to create what you want in life. This is beneficial power. It is trusting that you can do well when you give that presentation for instance. You know your material. You have practiced your delivery. You have great visual aids. You have the power of clarity to know what you are saying – and it feels good.

Confidence can fluctuate with circumstances.

As a skier, for instance, you are confident of your skiing skills, until you go to a new resort or get new equipment. Your confidence may diminish for a while, until you become familiar with the resort or your new equipment. Then your confidence returns.

You may be confident in one area of your life and not another.

You may be confident at work, but worry about going to parties. You may be comfortably confident with your buddies and horribly shy around women. You may be confident about your looks, but insecure about your conversational ability.

You feel comfortable when you are confident.

Anxiety is so uncomfortable. If you lack confidence you may be anxious and depressed, feeling helpless in some aspect of your life. Begin to view anxiety and depression on one end of a continuum with confidence on the other end. This will help you fine tune your assessment of yourself and make it easier to become more confident.

Genuine confidence and anxiety are in a dynamic balance most of the time.

As confidence increases, anxiety decreases. In most areas of life confidence results from practice, whether it is giving a presentation or serving the tennis ball. Confidence and competence go hand in hand, so skill and proficiency are integral elements of confidence.

Confidence goes hand in hand with good self-esteem and a healthy pride in yourself and your accomplishments.

Confidence results from facing and mastering your fears and resolving internal conflicts in addition to competence. The confident person is usually very considerate of others.

Confidence and courage go hand in hand.

To have courage means that you come from your heart and overcome fear when you take a risk.

Confidence isn’t:

  • It isn’t being arrogant or intimidating.
  • It isn’t being a bully.
  • It isn’t boasting and bragging or putting others down.
  • It isn’t throwing your weight around or acting superior to everybody else.
  • It isn’t being conceited, vain, bigheaded or egotistical.
  • It isn’t getting pumped up for a game or a meeting, then deflating afterward.
  • It isn’t denying your feelings to put on your “game face.”
  • It isn’t something that you use to cover up feelings of inadequacy or deny anxiety.
  • It isn’t the need to be right all the time.

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